So, how have things been since I decided to leave social media? The most important aspect is that the benefits I anticipated are clear. I don’t miss 99% of it. The 1% I do miss is mostly the memes that my wife shared with me on Instagram. While I could easily find funny cat videos elsewhere, having those moments to laugh together is something special. However, I truly don’t miss much else.
Instead, I subscribe to newsletters from artists, organizations, venues, and even restaurants that interest me. I’ve even started using an RSS feed for their Instagram accounts. I would prefer it if Meta didn’t exist and if social media were less extractive and exploitative, but I’m not opposed to the idea of social media as a technology or to the existence of smaller, non-Big Tech companies.
Do I sometimes hear about events after they’ve already happened? Yes. But I can’t attend everything, and often I don’t feel motivated to go when I do find out about them. With so much to do, reducing possibilities isn’t a bad thing. More importantly, leaving social media has decreased my anxiety and self-judgment about posting and gaining followers.
I no longer worry about which platform is best for me, how to cater to an algorithm, or whether I need a content calendar. I’m focused on fewer “shoulds” and not preoccupied with why my posts didn’t receive engagement or got fewer likes than the last one. I’ve realized that my success on social media does not determine my value as an artist or as a person.
So I’m happy I left social media, and I think many others would benefit from it too. Or at least move over to more sane and less exploitive, enshitified platforms like Mastodon. It’s definitely improved my mental health, and it’s given me some time back to do more meaningful things.
What are those meaningful things? Haha. Well, of course, that’s the big question, and answers to that big question certainly do weigh on me. Most importantly, there’s more time to work on music. I left social media right before I took a hiatus to move. So, I don’t have much data to prove that it has resulted in more music-making. However, I did put together a workshop since leaving and felt like I had more attention to give it. Other answers are effectively the new “shoulds” I’ve put on myself. I should post more to the blog. I should send out more newsletters more regularly. I should network with people more — whether in online communities like Discord or Reddit, or in person here in Seattle. I should develop and put out more offerings. I’ll remember more later.
Have I? Yeah, that’s an unfair question given the combination of little time since leaving social media and being on hiatus most of that time. So I’d grade it an incomplete. But it’s a yes and no. Or maybe a yes and a pat on the cheek to be less self-judgmental. I developed a workshop on creativity and facilitated it. I’ve gone to a few in-person networking events. I’ve spent time looking for jams or open-mics to go to. (I’ve gone but haven’t performed…another should.) I’ve reached out to people on online communities to ask if they’d like to start an in-person meetup on live-looping (or more specifically, Loopy Pro). (I got one positive reply, which is enough for me. But I “should” reply to them and organize it.) I’ve spent more time practicing my instruments (including Loopy Pro, which I now consider an instrument). (Because I discovered Kenny Werner’s Effortless Mastery, I have made incredible progress–yeah, just since leaving social media.) Of course, I have worked on music–arranging two of my soon-to-be tracks. Maybe I’ll remember more later. But the point is (and this is mostly to me) that I have done plenty in the past few weeks, relatively.
But, unsurprisingly, it’s hard not to focus on what I haven’t done and, specific to social media, hard to not think about how one can’t win the lottery (of finding an audience) if you don’t play the lottery. Even though thinking about social media gave me anxiety and objectively wasted my time, I realize it gave me a feeling of being “productive” because I was pulling the handle on the slot machine–something I’ve been programmed to think is part of a recipe for success and something other people easily see as social proof that someone is an artist. It’s hard enough to believe that posting to a blog no one knows about, sending an email out to twelve subscribers, or going to jams will lead to “success.” Then you combine that with the higher friction or effort (at least for me) it takes to do those things. Well, then I feel like I’m doing less towards success, even though I rationally think that’s not true (and likely the opposite).
So to sum up, I’m 51 and still insecure about being a full-time artist who has a very small social network, a non-existent professional network (in his profession), is an introvert, gets overwhelmed by the fire hose of online communities (have you joined a popular Discord server or tried to regularly engage Reddit?!), and is very anti-Big Tech but is also introspective, contemplative, philosophical, and on a never-ending quest to “grow” as a human being (and feeling much better having left social media).
Can you relate to any of that? Sometimes, I think that there aren’t many folks who can. Certainly, there are fewer than a handful of people who will see that question and be prompted to possibly empathize with it.
What does that mean for me practically? Stay the course, I guess. Keep thinking about my shoulds, but with a very quiet “sh”. I do want to do most of the things I listed. But it’s a lot (for me), and my rhythms and personality don’t always lend themselves to those things, like writing this post. These are the kind of thoughts that are often in my head to write down. It’s hard for me not to think about what it communicates if most of my posts are this vulnerable and uncertain. Aren’t I supposed to be showing the world how productive and competent I am? Who would want to work with someone who’s constantly thinking about how they need to improve or do better? Who wants to support someone who doesn’t seem like a hero, a good bet, or the next “thing”? And if I think this and know that not (m) no people read my blog. Well, then, emotionally it’s easier to just not post. But then… And the cycle continues. Hah.